sometimes, i think that edward is really swapped at birth by visiting aliens who wanted to educate their young on the complicated cultures of homosapiens.
or no wait, better still,
i bet when he came out, the surgeon switched his brain with a pig's brain just for laughs.

during maths.
khairul was educating our gullible little young minds about the fascinating world of mensuration!
(did you know that if you were to say mensuration quickly, somtimes it comes out as menstration?)
and that was another fast fact brought to you by brainy the brain!
back to the story.
and when she was talking about the simplest of all the formulas, which was pyramids, edward kept banging his stupid spastic head on the table wailing, "i'm losssstttt...mrs khairul, you've lost meeeee!"
PYRAMIDS.
sheesh!
the easiest of the lot!
volume of pyramid=one third x base area x height
even a monkey could get that straight!
...
well, i'm not so sure about the monkey, but i sure got it straight off the bat.
but noooooooooo, not edward!
and i'm usually known as the baka ranger of maths in class!
heck! i was even doing my presentation drawing of mechanism project while listening!
ITS A MIRACLE!

as if that wasnt enough,
next came science.
miss ang was explaning the formulas for calculating the resistance, voltage and whatever science shit that has something to do with electricity.
she went through with us the worksheet for electricity and i got everyone of them except for the big bad question five.
all i gathered from the amount of time sitting on my arse, pondering about the question was that the unit "ohm" sounds like a sound you would normally hear in the dead of the night in your parents room.
if you get my drift...
haha.
but, once again, noooooooo not edward!
he kept flapping his lips to form the words, "i'm lossssstttttt, in the jungleeeeeee!!"
and "byeeeeee byeeeeeee!"
and "cherie, SHAT UP!! give other peeeeeple er chaanse to ask questyion laaaa"
irritating, wouldnt you agree?
and he kept asking questions when miss ang was going to explain about them one second later.
i mean, come on.
cant you even spend a single stupid bloody second of your life to hear what the cher has to say?!
i almost ended it all with a swish and plack plack of evonne's stapler.
but i eventually settled for acting out the whole incident in my head.

heres the scene i imagined.
edward: "cherie! SHAT UP LA!"
(everyone in class starts to cringe at the sound of his voice, the window pane near jonathan, who is affectionately known as jon-jon, shatters)
cherie: "i hear a big fat loser talking to me!! amelia! am i dreaming?! pinch me!!"
amelia: (cringes) "yesss! i hear him toooo!! whos going to save us all from this horrible torture?!!"
kiara: "should i ever get tortured by the enemy for force 015 information, i can take any kind of torture except for sitting beside wanyi and edwards horrible voice!"
edward: "mwahahaha! now whos going to stop my big flabby lips from opening and closing to emit my sweet voice?!"
*lord of the rings theme plays*
jaclyn: "i will!"
jaclyn rummages through evonne's bag and finds her trusty stapler and with a few shots of bullets, stapler bullets that is, edwards flapping gap is finally shut
and the whole class celebrates her victory by dancing the victory dance choreographed by mr singh which appears suspiciously to be the aces day workout,
accompanied by TM squares mood lifting, inspirational music used for our recent art exam!

i know what you are going to say next.
"in your dreams."
in my dreams indeed.